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Digital
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Friday, 22 April 2011 14:38 |
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If there was a theme to the Winter 2011 season, "wasted potential" must have been it. Here's another one that could have promised so much but fell flat on its face, flashing its pantsu in the process: Freezing. Technologically enhanced young girls fighting mysterious invaders from another dimension? Why, yes, sign me up. But it quickly turns out to be a show that's doing it all wrong...
Satellizer el Bridget is the top-ranked Pandora at the West Genetics academy. The Pandoras are female warriors, being trained to help defend the Earth against the Nova, alien invaders who are (as usual) hellbent on destruction. With the Pandoras all capable of a high level of regeneration, enabling them to regrow lost limbs and repair other wounds that wwould be lethal to normal humans, they're formidable warriors indeed - and Satellizer is head and shoulders above her compatriots. But with each Pandora expected to partner with a Limiter to help control her abilities, Satellizer has a problem: she's the "Untouchable Queen", refusing to allow anyone to touch her - and touching is a key part of what Limiters do. But a chance encounter with young Kazuya Aoi may just be the key to her overcoming her problem...
 See Anger Management Kitteh over there? Anger Management Kitteh could probably teach the girls of West Genetics a thing or two. For all her fighting prowess, you see, Satelli is a genuinely nice person. And as the one genuinely nice person in a school full of complete bitches (apparently), they're busy making her life hell - and thanks to the strict heirarchy of the place, she can't really fight back. 3rd year girl trying to kill her? Sorry, she's 2nd year - she either lets herself be killed, or end up taking a disciplinary rap for responding. The first half of the series, after the introduction of male lead Kazuya, is a string of plot after plot after plot of the West Genetics seniors trying to kill or humiliate poor Satelli, and it soon wears thin.
Almost as thin as the plot at this stage of the series, which is really wafer thin. So instead of talking about that, I'll back the truck up a little, and explain the setting. As mentioned, the Pandoras are being trained to fight against the Nova, invaders from another dimension. Their powers come from Stigmata, pieces of Nova technology embedded in their bodies that grant powerful combat and regenerative abilities - you could lop most of the limbs off a Pandora, and a few hours later they'd be back on the battlefield. Stigmata place a strain on their host, though, so most Pandoras only have 2-3, with their powers accordingly limited - although some, such as Kazuya's sister Kazuha, can handle many more. Not that it helped in Kazuha's case, though, as she was still killed in action against the Nova. Each Pandora is expected to pair with a male partner, their Limiter, who as the name suggests acts as a check on their powers and prevents them from over-exerting themselves, as that can have dire consequences. They're also able to cast zones of Freezing, which pin the Nova in place and allow the Pandoras to attack in comparative safety.
Combine that with the awesome power of the Nova themselves (it only takes an incursion by one or two of them and you've got a major diaster on your hands), and you should have the makings of a good series on your hands - and to be fair, from about episode 8 onwards, the focus of the show shifts to the Nova and things pick up immeasurably. But with a full half of the series wasted on petty hazing of Satelli, and the more story-oriented Nove arc in the second half peppered with moments of abject stupidity, Freezing is its own worst enemy. An example: the Nova are closing in on West Genetics, which houses in its vaults an artefact of major importance. The leader of the operation - a nun (why not someone with military credentials?) ponders "We have no idea why they're after the artefact - but it'll be the end for humanity if they get it!" [...] Excuse me? I think you've just uncovered the reason the Nova are after it right there.
Aaargh. The fate of humanity is placed in the hands of girls for whom personal vendettas are more imporant than the bigger picture, led by people who have no idea what they're doing. We're all doomed.
There are plus points, though. Most of the girls, taken away from the fighting and allowed to be themselves, are actually good fun to watch - there's one episode in particular that just lets everyone relax and have fun, and it's probably the high point of the series. Satelli herself and blue-haired Rana Linchen were my personal favourites, but most of the girls seem to have struck a chord with some section of the audience. It's just a shame that their fun sides were never really allowed to shine. Satelli's also got a backstory that's positively painful and explains her "Untouchable Queen" persona very well indeed, greatly adding to her character's appeal.
Before I finish, though, there's one more big criticism to level at the version that FUNimation are streaming: Freezing is a fanservice show, heavy on the T&A and often featuring the girls' clothes being ripped away by the exertions of combat. Pantsu, and bouncy boobies, are liberally used. Or they would be, if this weren't the TV edit, with every hint of the indecent covered up by a large black shadow - which in some cases, given the amount of T&A on show here, means that the entire screen is blacked out. This is a pet hate of mine: seriously, guys, if you can't show it without using lens flare, blackouts, or cute pictures of pussies, beavers and tits (the feathered variety), don't show it at all.
If you hadn't guess by now, then, Freezing is a huge pile of disappointment, wrapped in a promising idea that's just wasted by the incompetence of its characters. You may have notice I've barely mentioned Kazuya, the ostensible male lead - that would be because he's so bland and generic there's really nothing to say about him. Best forgotten - a bit like the series itself, sadly. Pass.
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